21 Things I Haven't Done in 21 Months

Next week, I begin traveling down south for my Close of Service conference -- a week with the rest of my training class where I guess they attempt to teach us how to act like normal Americans again. This week I passed the 21 month mark for time spent in Cameroon, and in honor of that, as well as this upcoming conference where we all start seriously looking homeward, here is a list of 21 things I have not done since coming to Cameroon:

1) Used a dishwasher
2) Ridden on an escalator
3) Painted my nails
4) Driven a car
5) Eaten a taco
6) Bought new, pre-made clothes at a store (I regularly buy fabric which I take to a tailor, or buy used clothing at an outdoor market, but I haven't done anything remotely resembling going to the mall and picking out a t-shirt)
7) Gotten a coffee from Starbucks
8) Used a debit card to pay for something
9) Been through a drive-thru
10) Ridden on an airplane
11) Used a smartphone
12) Shoveled snow
13) Worn boots
14) Watched a movie at a movie theater
15) Used a microwave
16) Been carded at a bar (I have to show my ID regularly, but only to police officers while traveling so they can make sure I haven't illegally snuck into their country/am not a Nigerian bandit...)
17) Gone to the gym
18) Ridden a horse
19) Paid a bill (I slip some cash to my neighbor for electricity every once in awhile, but that's as close as it gets...)
20) Gotten a real haircut (although every once in awhile a fellow volunteer does chop off my split ends...)
21) Been to a museum

The closer we get to going home, the more things like this I realize, and the more I wonder about what a weird transition it is going to be to come home. I also try to pay more attention to the things I will miss about here, but I'm finding it's the same as when I was leaving America -- everything seems so normal, you don't know what you will miss until you don't have it anymore (drinking tap water, or putting ice in your drinks, the change of seasons, etc.). I have this image of myself in Target, wearing a muumuu and calling over a clerk to haggle over the price of toothpaste ("$2? That's like 1000CFA. Preposterous. I will give you 50 cents."), then hissing at someone's frightened child to make them carry my bags. Maybe this post should serve as a warning to those of you who will be picking me up at the airport in July and living with me those first few months: I will probably try to wear Tevas to a fancy party, will add blocks of MSG powder to everything I cook for you, and will insist you turn the heat on in the car, even when it is 75 degrees out (that is parka weather here). Get excited.