Greatest Hits: Year Two

Here one more time is a list of the funniest things my students have written this year. A disclaimer: I might feel guilty about poking a little fun at my students, if I didn't know how much entertainment they got out of the equally ridiculous things I say in French/Fulfulde/Mandara.



Responses to an assignment to write 10 sentences using the word "If":
"If I had eaten my foot, I would have been hungry."
"If you lie to your father, he will bite you."

On unemployment in Cameroon:
"Many efforts are being made to dehydrate this problem."

Describe a wedding you have attended.
"Last week in my village there was a wedding of my neighbours. At night young boys and girls was dancing hands in hands and heads with heads. My friend girl was waiting for me to dance but me I was absent because I was lerning my leson to success the first sequence."

Conclusion to an essay on a person you admire:
"Finally Eto'o is very shine as Lord he is popular with the showers."

Why are careers in music difficult to achieve?
"-difficult to achieve
-little security
-many thieves, adulterers"

Is it better to live in the city or the village?
"It is better to live in the city, because the city no have sorcerors."
"You see many pretty girls which you like."

What causes a student to lose interest in a subject?
"The consommation of the substance toxique."

Why didn't the English originally like soccer?
"Because King of Scotland stabbing anyone who didn't approve his decision."

What job would you like to have after you finish school?
"My job I would like to have when I finish school are: I reding a boobs, I do my homework, I slept after I wach. After of the toilet, I eat my food and I rerede my lesson. At 20:00 I slept."
(I was looking more for something like "teacher" or "doctor", but I guess this works too)

Where did Oscar work?
"Oscar didn't French Wilma."

Write a letter to your parents, telling them how you feel about your arranged marriage.
"Please let me pass my Bac first, and then I will marry. I cannot put cats in front of horse."

What are the advantages of science?
"Science enable for your field that you study your soil, then you give a feces to improve your soil."


The last exams have been graded and report cards filled out, and now I am just leading a few night classes to prepare kids for the national exams they will take next month to determine if they get to graduate or move up a year. Saying goodbye is bittersweet -- I am very much looking forward to returning home in July, but at the end of two years there will be a lot of difficult goodbyes. My English Club president (who has been one of my best students for two years now) has taken to stopping by my house a couple times a week, just to say hello. He says, in English, that he wants to spend as much time with me as possible before I return to America. I think I worried a lot (especially my first year) about whether or not I was accomplishing anything, or if I would leave with a bitter taste in my mouth. There definitely continue to be ups and downs here, but in general the things that bothered me the most have become funny stories, and when I walk around the village and think about the work I've done, I feel like I have definitely made a difference -- at the very least with individuals (like my English Club president), even if I cannot necessarily see the progress made at a larger level.

Anyways, I'm looking forward to a few more weeks of weird, wonderful adventures...and then to seeing everyone at home (and eating a lot of delicious food).